The Strategic Exchange – The Organizational Change Consultant Report, May 2006
Better Listening, Reduces Frustration and Errors for Customers.
Listen so customers feel heard, because that is what they want. In conversing with customers, minimize anger by seeking to hear what they are saying and not only what we want to hear.
Listening is more than hearing words. It is the ability to understand what is said and respond with purpose. Cultivate the skill to receive, interpret and respond to verbal messages and other cues, like body language, in ways that are appropriate to the purpose.
Determine what the customers want to do. They may want to socialize. So we relax and enjoy the moment with them. On the other hand they may want to persuade us. We should respond differently and judge what they are saying.
It is said that in over 70 percent of our communications, we shut out or misunderstand the intended meaning or purpose of a message. Therefore, listening appears to be the biggest reason for miscommunication among people.
Behavioural research shows that people are motivated to choose a particular listening approach to conversations based on their purpose.
People often use one or more of the following five listening approaches in their day to day interactions. Let's examine them.
Appreciative listeners pay attention to presenters who are entertaining them. They like to relax and enjoy themselves when they are listening to a speaker. Therefore the speaker performance has to create an impression on the listener.
Empathic listeners are patient and they pay attention to the speaker's feelings and emotions. They usually show a caring attitude for what the speaker says. As a result people often see them as a "sounding board" for them to let off steam.
Comprehensive listeners have the ability to understand while listening and are able to relate what they hear to what they already know by arranging and summing up the information. They listen for how a speaker progresses in his argument. They ask questions in order to explain a speaker's intention so that they can better understand the message.
Discerning listeners pay keen attention not just to the presentation or conversation, but also to the body language and the clothing of the speaker. They frequently take notes on what a speaker says because they want to make sure that they get all the Information and that they understand the main message.
Evaluative listeners have an Eagle's eye on every message. The speaker must present his argument with facts because the evaluative listeners do not accept something as true just because an expert says it.
To be an effective listener we have to consider not only our intentions, but also the intentions of the speaker. To avoid miscommunications, we have to develop and use the most appropriate listening approach that fits the message as well as the environment.
Our goals motivate us to converse with another person. It may be to convince the listener about an idea or course of action; to convey information and ideas; to share personal feelings, values and experiences; and to entertain, comfort or bring enjoyment to another person. We may choose the listening approaches that interact well with our communication goals. Therefore, our natural tendencies may at times, lead us to choose less-than-ideal listening approaches.
Here is an exercise that we can do to improve our listening skills. Write down the Responses and use them to alter the areas where we need improvement.
What behaviours do you exhibit while listening that another might misinterpret? How might you change or address behaviours to sidestep miscommunications?
Because we all have assumptions while listening, we may automatically misinterpret the behaviour of others as meaning something that it does not. What listening behaviours might you be inclined to misinterpret and how might you actively reinterpret those behaviours?
How might you help others alter their speaking or listening behaviours to improve communication with you?
It is a pleasure to hear from you and I look forward to answering more of your questions.
Sharon Ho–Sang
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